A Funny Joke 58 Newspapers Headlines

1. Something Went Wrong In Jet Crash, Expert Says

2. Police Begin Campaign To Run Down Jaywalkers

3. Saftey Experts Say School Bus Passengers Should Be Belted

4. Drunk Gets Nine Months In Violin Case

5. Survivor Of Siamese Twins Joins Parents

6. Farmer Bill Dies In House

7. Iraqi Head Seeks Arms

8. Is There A Ring Of Debris Around Uranus?

9. Stud Tires Out

10. Prostitutes Appeal To Pope

11. Panda Mating Fails: Veterinarian Takes Over

12. Soviet Virgin Lands Short Of Goal Again

13. British Left Waffles On Falkland Islands

14. Lung Cancer In Women Mushrooms

15. Eye Drops Off Shelf

16. Teacher Strikes Idle Kids

17. Reagan Wins On Budget, But More Lies Ahead

18. Squad Helps Dog Bite Victim

19. Shot Off Woman’s Leg Helps Nicklaus to 66

20. Enraged Cow Injures Farmer with Ax

21. Plane Too Close To Ground, Crash Probe Told

22. Miners Refuse to Work After Death

23. Juvenile Court To Try Shooting Defendant

24. Stolen Painting Found By Tree

25. Two Soviet Ships Collide, One Dies

26. Two Sisters Reunited After 18 Years In Checkout Counter

27. Killer Sentenced To Die For Second Time In 10 Years

28. Never Withhold Herpes Infection From Loved One

29. Drunken Drivers Paid $1000 in ’84

30. War Dims Hope For Peace

31. If Strike Isn’t Settled Quickly, It May Last a While

32. Cold Wave Linked To Temperatures

33. Enfields Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
34. Red Tape Holds Up New Bridge

35. Deer Kill 17,000

36. Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead

37. Man Struck By Lightning Faces Battery Charge

38. New Study Of Obesity Looks For Larger Test Group

39. Astronaut Takes Blame For Gas In Spacecraft

40. Kids Make Nutritious Snacks

41. Chef Throws His Heart Into Helping Needy

42. Arson Suspect Is Held In Massachusetts Fire

43. British Union Finds Dwarves In Short Supply

44. Ban On Soliciting Dead in Trotwood

45. Lansing Residents Can Drop Off Trees

46. Local High School Dropouts Cut In Half

47. New Vaccine May Contain Rabies

48. Man Minus Ear Waives Hearing

49. Deaf College Opens Doors To Hearing

50. Air Head Fired

51. Steals Clock, Faces Time

52. Prosecutor Releases Probe into Undersheriff

53. Old School Pillars are Replaced By Alumni

54. Bank Drive-In Window Blocked By Board

55. Hospitals are Sued By 7 Foot Doctors

56. Some Pieces Of Rock Hudson Sold At Auction

57. Sex Education Delayed, Teachers Request Training

58. Include Your Children When Baking Cookies

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Wedding Or Boxing

Ques) Why do couples hold hands during their wedding? Ans) It’s a formality just like two boxers shaking hands before the fight begins!

Toothbrush By Redneck

How do you know that the toothbrush was invented by a redneck? If it was invented by anyone else they would have called it a “teethbrush”.

Dumb Idiot

Ques - How do you keep and idiot busy? Answer - Put him in a round room and tell him to sit in the corner. This post was submitted by jewelly1 -4rom rs.

Funny Football

Ques - How do you make a football pitch in to a triangle?? Ans - Take a corner This post was submitted by Tom Briggs.

Brilliant Doubts - Unanswered

1.If all the nations in the world are in debt(am not joking. even US has got debts), where did all the money go? 2.When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it? 3.If the ‘black box’ flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn’t the whole airplane made out of that stuff? 4.Why do people say, ‘you’ve been working like a dog’ when dogs just sit around all day? 5.Why are the numbers on a calculator and a phone reversed? 6.Why do birds not fall out of trees when they sleep? 7.What came first, the fruit or the color orange? 8.If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from? 9.Why is it called a ‘building’ when it is already built? 10.Why is it called a TV set when theres only one? 11.If a person owns a piece of land do they own it all the way down to the core of the earth?

Funny Questions

1. Can you imagine what the world would be without hypothetical questions? 2. If the 7 eleven stores are open 24/7 365 days a week why do they have doors? 3. Why they do not make planes with the same materials that they use to make the black box.

Funny Question Answers

Question : When do you CONGRATULATE someone for their MISTAKE. Answer : On their MARRIAGE. Question : Why Government do NOT allow a Man to MARRY 2 Women. Answer : Because per Constitution, you can NOT PUNISH TWICE for the same Mistake. Question : How does a wise man tells a woman to keep quiet? Answer :You looks extremely BEAUTIFUL when your LIPS are CLOSED. Question : How can we reduce alcohol consumption Answer: Before Marriage - Drink whenever you are SAD, After Marriage - Drink whenever you are HAPPY