Very Funny husband And Wife Facts

“My wife said to me, “I want to be cremated.” I said,
“How about Tuesday?”

Always get married early in the morning. That way, if it
doesn’t work out, you haven’t wasted a whole day.

I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for
marriage. They’ve experienced pain and bought jewelry.

Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with
friends. You order what you want, then when you see what the
other fellow has, you wish you had ordered that.

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.

Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat
in Europe.

Marriage can be viewed as the waiting room for death.

A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband.

After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin;
they just can’t face each other, but still they stay together.

Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring,
and suffering.

“My wife said to me, “I want to be cremated.” I said, “How
about Tuesday?”

“When a man steals your wife there is no better revenge than
to let him keep her.” – Sacha Guitry.

“Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his
wife.”

I’ve often wanted to drown my troubles, but I can’t get
my wife to go swimming.

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Wedding Or Boxing

Ques) Why do couples hold hands during their wedding? Ans) It’s a formality just like two boxers shaking hands before the fight begins!

Toothbrush By Redneck

How do you know that the toothbrush was invented by a redneck? If it was invented by anyone else they would have called it a “teethbrush”.

Dumb Idiot

Ques - How do you keep and idiot busy? Answer - Put him in a round room and tell him to sit in the corner. This post was submitted by jewelly1 -4rom rs.

Funny Football

Ques - How do you make a football pitch in to a triangle?? Ans - Take a corner This post was submitted by Tom Briggs.

Brilliant Doubts - Unanswered

1.If all the nations in the world are in debt(am not joking. even US has got debts), where did all the money go? 2.When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it? 3.If the ‘black box’ flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn’t the whole airplane made out of that stuff? 4.Why do people say, ‘you’ve been working like a dog’ when dogs just sit around all day? 5.Why are the numbers on a calculator and a phone reversed? 6.Why do birds not fall out of trees when they sleep? 7.What came first, the fruit or the color orange? 8.If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from? 9.Why is it called a ‘building’ when it is already built? 10.Why is it called a TV set when theres only one? 11.If a person owns a piece of land do they own it all the way down to the core of the earth?

Funny Questions

1. Can you imagine what the world would be without hypothetical questions? 2. If the 7 eleven stores are open 24/7 365 days a week why do they have doors? 3. Why they do not make planes with the same materials that they use to make the black box.

Funny Question Answers

Question : When do you CONGRATULATE someone for their MISTAKE. Answer : On their MARRIAGE. Question : Why Government do NOT allow a Man to MARRY 2 Women. Answer : Because per Constitution, you can NOT PUNISH TWICE for the same Mistake. Question : How does a wise man tells a woman to keep quiet? Answer :You looks extremely BEAUTIFUL when your LIPS are CLOSED. Question : How can we reduce alcohol consumption Answer: Before Marriage - Drink whenever you are SAD, After Marriage - Drink whenever you are HAPPY