Archive for August, 2009
New Funny Age Heart
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Very Funny husband And Wife Facts
“My wife said to me, “I want to be cremated.” I said,
“How about Tuesday?”
Always get married early in the morning. That way, if it
doesn’t work out, you haven’t wasted a whole day.
I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for
marriage. They’ve experienced pain and bought jewelry.
Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with
friends. You order what you want, then when you see what the
other fellow has, you wish you had ordered that.
My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat
in Europe.
Marriage can be viewed as the waiting room for death.
A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband.
After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin;
they just can’t face each other, but still they stay together.
Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring,
and suffering.
“My wife said to me, “I want to be cremated.” I said, “How
about Tuesday?”
“When a man steals your wife there is no better revenge than
to let him keep her.” - Sacha Guitry.
“Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his
wife.”
I’ve often wanted to drown my troubles, but I can’t get
my wife to go swimming.
Funny Munna Bhai Joke
MUNNA BHAI : Circuit, bole toh yeh Ford kya hai?
CIRCUIT : Bhai, gaadi hai.
MUNNA BHAI : Toh phir, yeh Oxford kya hai?
CIRCUIT : Bole toh, simple hai bhai. Ox maane Bael, Ford maane gaadi. Oxford bole toh - BaelGaadi.
A Funny Facts On Womans Demand List From There To Be Husband
When it comes to men, what exactly are women looking for? Here’s a humorous look at what a WoMan’s’s wants in her Man’s-
What I Want In A Man’s, Original List (at age 22)
1- Handsome
2- Charming
3- Financially successful
4- A caring listener
5- Witty
6- In good shape
7- Dresses with style
8- Appreciates the finer things
9- Full of thoughtful surprises
10- An imaginative, roMan’stic lover
What I Want In A Man’s, Revised List (at age 32)
1- Nice looking - preferably with hair on his head
2- Opens car doors, holds chairs
3- Has enough money for a nice dinner at restaurant
4- Listens more than he talks
5- Laughs at my jokes at appropriate times
6- Can carry in all the groceries with ease
7- Owns at least one tie
8- Appreciates a good home cooked meal
9- Remembers birthdays and anniversaries
10- Seeks roMan’sce at least once a week
What I Want In A Man’s, Revised List (at age 42)
1- Not too ugly - bald head OK
2- Doesn’t drive off until I m in the car
3- Works steady - splurges on dinner at McDonalds on occasion
4- Nods head at appropriate times when I’m talking
5- Usually remembers the punchlines of jokes
6- Is in good enough shape to rearrange the furniture
7- Usually wears shirt that covers stomach
8- Knows not to buy champagne with screw-top lids
9- Remembers to put the toilet seat lid down
10- Shaves on most weekends